Haven't blogged in a while...not for lack of anything to say, just lack of discipline to actually sit down and do it :)I wanted to share something that happened recently. We had some surprising news with our adoption. I can't go into details but basically we had to switch agencies. This is a pretty big deal. We had spent a year with our agency...praying with them, e-mailing, and we knew their system really well.
We found out about this big switch right before Brandon left on a mission trip to Ecuador. That's important because on one of the days he was gone, I went into a downward spiral. My thought life was so negative and full of fear..."This adoption just might fall through"..."You will probably lose all the money that's been given so far"...."you have wasted all this time"...and on and on. By the end of the day, listening to these thoughts all day, I was a wreck.
I had a friend send some scriptures about God closing doors and opening them. I know this is the case, but I wanted the door we were walking through to stay open. I didn't want to go through another door. Do you know what I mean?? I was basically pouting.
I never sleep well when Brandon's gone either.Something about him not being right beside me just doesn't feel very comforting.
So, after fretting, and crying, and praying for a while, I finally told God that I will follow Him wherever He leads.Even if the adoption fell through.Even if it's different than the path I thought we were on.
I was broken. I was throwing my hands in the air and saying "I'm tired of holding on to this so tightly and I'm ready to give up control". I fell asleep about 12:45am.
The next day, I woke up to find an e-mail from a high school friend that I haven't seen in 15 yrs! We had connected on facebook and she said that I might think she's crazy, but that God had woke her up at 1AM and put us on her mind. He showed her some scriptures to share with me. I will share them with you.
1 Chronicles 22:13 "Be strong and of good courage. Dread not and fear not; be not dismayed. "
Deuteronomy 1;29-30 (where Moses speaks to the children of Israel about their enemies dwelling in the promise land): "Then I said to you, Dread not, neither be afraid of them. The Lord your God goes before you, He will fight for you just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes."
Hebrew 2:10 says Jesus is your pioneer. When something seems impossible or unpleasant, trust your pioneer to go before you and pave the way.
Those words spoke directly into my situation. It was as if God was standing right in front of me telling me not to worry. He is our pioneer. He is leading the way for us! He sent an unlikely messenger to me to let me know that He's in control. Don't miss the fact that I went to sleep at 12:45AM and she woke at 1AM. It humbles me to think that he cares about me.
He cares about YOU too.
What's He saying to you? Are you listening? Are you giving Him full control? Are you letting Him lead the way? I know I will. He's our pioneer! Do you need to take your hands off of a situation and let God take over?
If God Speaks, I'm listening :)
~Christi~
~Christi~