OK- so did you get any ruffled feathers from post 1 or post 2? Today I wanted to talk about the "Separate lives" marriage challenge.
I think there are some couples who may struggle with this more than others. The separate lives couples are the ones who don't share many hobbies. When you ask them what they like to do together they have to think for a while. And the answers are usually, "Um- go to the kids ballgames", or " watch a movie"...something that doesn't bring much interaction.
Several years ago I was talking with an acquaintance. She had said that Fridays was one of their days off and then Monday was the other. She basically said- I do whatever I want on "my" day and he does whatever he wants on "his" day. This alarmed me. You mean to tell me you have 2 days (your only days off) during the week where you really have no contact with each other? That's dangerous! That's just giving the enemy room to jump and bring division. You will begin to think things like "well- they don't know what's going on or what I'm going through". Or "since it's her/his day, I better not bother her/him" while there may be some other man/woman vying for attention from your spouse!
Now- I know that people travel or work different hours so like I said, it can be a struggle for some more than others. But, we have to strive to make time to have fun with our spouse. It may be difficult at first but it's so important. Don't be paranoid just because your spouse is out for the day.
I'm talking about total disconnect.
All women need girl time and all men need to hang with the fella's. But, more importantly, we as couples need time to connect!
If you don't know what' s going on in your spouses world- I would consider this a red flag. Seriously. As a married couple, we should make time to listen and understand the life our spouse is leading. (and jump in and get involved).
If you find yourselves not talking during a meal because frankly you don't know what to say, or if you find that you would rather be alone or out with friends than spend time with your spouse- then I would recommend making time to re-connect with your spouse. It will be so worth it.
Remember- this is our most intimate relationship on earth. Your kids will love you for it :) Write down a list of ways you can reconnect with your spouse. Serve them (oh- there's that word again). Make them feel like the most important person in your life. It will turn your marriage around!
Tomorrow we will be talking about the opposite of this....the "spending too much time together couple" (can that really happen?)....yes, it can. I promise!
What are your thoughts about living "separate lives"? How can people find that balance? What kinds of hobbies do you enjoy with your spouse?Is this an area you need to re-connect on right now in your marriage?