Forever!

Psalm 125

One word jumps today, "FOREVER."  Forever is honestly not a perspective I get at all.  I talk about it but easily get lost in the weeds.  Verse 1 and verse 2 have some promises about forever that are tremendous!  

1. Those who trust in the Lord can't be moved but stand forever.  I don't normally "feel" this, so I easily forget this TRUTH!  No matter what we face, as a child of God we will stand.  No matter how we feel as follower of Jesus we stand.  It is not the absence of pain, but the constant presence of hope.
   
2. Like the powerful mountains, the Lord surrounds his people...FOREVER!  We are not alone.  We are never alone.  We are never on the outside.  We are in the protective embrace of Jesus.  He doesn't put us out of his protection for a special life lesson,  Instead those painful life lessons are in the protective watch of God.  

I don't always "feel" these truths of forever.  But today I am reminded; I believe; and I walk in their truth.

In the valley to the mountaintop...

It's strange how over the course of a month, so much can happen. A couple of weeks ago, I was on bedrest and sort of begging God to let everything be OK. I actually wasn't sort of begging, I was downright pleading begging. You all know the outcome. We lost the baby and my only remaining tube to conceive with. Now, I don't say that easily. I know it seems like I just blunted that out but I have been very blunt with God over the past 10 days. I'm going to be real with ya'll today.....

I have asked him "why" so many times that it's annoying. I have been mad at Him. I have wondered what the past month meant in my lifetime. I have been raw, let me tell ya. R.A.W.

But in a weird way, I feel closer to God than I did a month ago. A LOT closer. I was in a rut. I was in some murky, dirty water focusing on myself and my plans for my life. I can hear me now.." Ok, I want to adopt before Christmas and oh, won't it be fun to decorate the nursery and maybe I should go back to work, and I need to organize the house...." I could literally go on for a lot longer. What I needed to be doing was focusing on the Lord and what He wants for me, what He has planned for me and my family. I was not being a good helpmate for my husband and honestly, I wasn't being a very good mommy. I was focusing on ME.

After my grumbling stopped (around Sunday or so), I started asking him healthier questions like "what can I learn from this", and "How do YOU want me to proceed from here?". What a difference 3 days makes. I feel I am thinking clearer than I have in a long time! I feel the presence and peace of the Lord and it feels good. It's been awhile.

I can truly thank God for our struggles in the past month because it brought me here. I have to "Embrace the friction- because although it might be unclear, uncomfortable and sometimes painful, the friction of life takes us somewhere farther than we could have went without it (our tag line). I see many areas where I have a lot of work to do. Now I have the focus and drive to try to be who He wants me to be.

I don't quite have it all figured out, and never will, but I'm glad on the way back up rather than down in that lonely gutter.

I don't want the hard, questioning times to come back any time soon. But, I'm thankful the Lord got my attention. OUCH! He did it in a way that hurt, but I know He will restore me. I'm forever grateful for a Father who pursues me even when I don't think I need pursuing.

Thank you Lord for working all things out for good and for your glory!