If you want to catch up on this series, here's Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, and Day 4
Continuing our series on Challenges in marriage, today let's talk about a big no-no....comparing our spouse to others. We've all done it. Maybe not verbally, but at least in our head!
You see something that someone else does well and you think "Wow, I wish my spouse did that!", or you might even go as far as to think "Wonder what it would be like to be married to them?".
This is another dangerous area. When you start to want something your spouse doesn't possess, you better watch out! It might start with a trait in someone else you admire, and then you think on it, and then next thing you know, you are drawn to that person.
I think it's good to see good things in others- but not to the downfall of your spouse! Our pastor once said " If you think the grass is greener somewhere else, then water your own lawn!". Instead of looking at what others have and you don't, turn that around and try to see what you do have.
You married your spouse because you love them. They, at one time, possessed something you thought you couldn't live without. Our pastor also said that instead of just saying "I love you" to your spouse, say "I love you because....". As you begin to identify those reasons you are attracted to your spouse, that love will begin to overflow. If you can only think of 1 then, repeat that one reason. Chances are there will be many that come to light. You can even pray that God will make those things shine bright in your mind.
Don't say things like " I wish you could cook like _______", or "" Did you know that ______'s husband does _______". You get the idea. The goal in marriage is to build the other person UP, not tear them down.
The only person we have to compare ourselves to in this life is Jesus and we ALL fall short on that one!
So, speak highly of your spouse (in public and private)- compliment the things they do well. As they begin to feel more confident in who they are- they will begin to want to please you even more.
It will be one pretty picture of completing each other rather than depleting each other!
What does your spouse do well? Do you compliment your spouse often? Is there an area you want to improve in to please your spouse? I challenge you to tell your spouse "I love you because....." at least 1 time this week!